Song of the Unknown Soldier
My rivals so astound me
As they play their foolish games
I see them stalk about me
I even know their names
Secretly they scurry by
I pay their wages as they spy
I tell the truth - they only lie
Now their time has come to die
These men in trench coats buttoned down
With weapons pointed to the ground
And aerials reaching for the sky
They wonder how I know they spy
I myself a master am
Having spied on Viet Nam
Without a badge to get me by
Or uniform or plane to fly
On Saigon streets I walked alone
Never to use a telephone
Or wireless, or telegraph
Or even one well trodden path
I snuck in through Cambodia
So who am I to disobey
Colonel Oliver Wimbleton Pepper IV
all rights reserved 2015
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The orders I received that day
Onward Christian Soldier Boy
With forty millimeter toy
And fear not death, for you are bound
To rest in peace beneath the ground
Before you reach the Promised Land
Take with you all you can
And send those bloody freaks to hell
Posthumously you will be rewarded well
Then on the mantle place displayed
The Purple Heart you earned that day
And all the tears your mother shed
Could fill a river but still you’re dead
Strafe the town and bomb the people
Drop some Napalm in the square
Get there early Sunday morning
Get them while they’re still at prayer
Then throw some candy to the children
Wait until they gather ‘round
Then take your forty millimeter
And mow them little mother’s down
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